


garden of hearts

by Rivalkyries



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dissociation, F/M, M/M, Pedophilia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Statutory Rape, Trauma, Underage Sex, self-destructive behaviors, unhappy end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-27 23:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17776082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rivalkyries/pseuds/Rivalkyries
Summary: Kakashi, aged 13, had naively thought he had nothing more to lose. He was wrong.





	garden of hearts

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbetaread and its just my ramblings at midnight  
> theres a severe lack of minakaka and this isnt what yall deserve but its something

1.

Sensei was like the sun.

His smile was warm, and every time he flashed it, Kakashi would relax his muscles, not having realized he was so tense in the first place.

He refused to get too close, lest his already broken wings became incinerated beyond repair, but he still orbited around the man from a distance.

2.

Kakashi considered himself mature for his age. He'd graduated into the ranks of the genin at 5, chuunin at 6, and he was almost at jounin level. He'd lived on his own for ages now, taken care of himself in an empty apartment, and he's had a pool of blood at his feet, the lack of a pulse on his two fingers, stuck in his brain since childhood.

Experience was what made shinobi, and in his expert opinion, he was experienced enough.

This didn't stop Minato-sensei from looking at him as if he were still a child, as if he was truly his age.

It was frustrating, beyond having his accomplishments overlooked, beyond still being seen as something to be babied, but he didn't understand why.

3.

Clearly, he hadn't thought things through.

Kakashi, aged 13, had naively thought he had nothing more to lose. He was wrong.

Blood stains he thought he'd washed away with layers of his skin so many years ago returned, Obito's eye burning like a molten rock in his eye socket.

All he could hear was the crunch of bones, the tearing of skin, he could feel the sticky flesh and blood of his comrade, the one he promised to protect.

Rin died in pain, ribs broken and lung punctured, and Kakashi had the /audacity/ to not even see her through her final moments.

He'd passed out like a coward, waking up in a sea of blood.

Far away he could hear the water running, he could register the cold washing away blood that wasn't his away from hands that never should have belonged to him.

Something snaked around his arm; a hand, much warmer than his, much larger, much more calloused.

Sensei led him away from the sink and wrapped his palms with bandages Kakashi didn't even know he still had in the lonesome apartment.

4.

"I'm okay."

"No, you're not."

"You have no evidence that I'm outside of a normal state of wellbeing."

"I - Kakashi, please, just take a break. You nearly collapsed during training yesterday, I can tell you haven't been sleeping well."

Kakashi starts to say something but his eyelids are heavy and he slumps against his sensei, head throbbing like a pike had impaled it.

It was embarrassing.

The boy tried to push himself off and up but his arms conveniently decided to stop working, and he felt his sensei sigh deeply and carry him as he finally drifted away.

5.

Here, Kakashi could fully utilize his skills.

He embraced his title as cold-blooded, striking each enemy directly through their chests, just like the first time, just like her last.

Far away inside of his head, he didn't have to worry about washing the blood off his hands; they were too deeply stained in the first place.

Obito would be horrified, but Obito was gone, and all that was left was his.

Obito couldn't see the future with him, and he never would.

6.

One day, Kakashi found his sensei drowning himself in sake. He'd sighed, lugging him home as best as he could lug a full grown man by himself with the body of a 15 year old.

"'Kaaaashi."

"Yes, sensei?"

"You know I love you right?"

Kakashi froze for a millisecond before continuing on his path toward sensei's home. Minato-sensei was blissfully drunk (his friends were too drunk to help anyone but themselves home, unfortunately).

"Yes, sensei." God, he was heavy.

His sensei pat his head, ruffled it like when he was 12.

Sensei wouldn't let him go, curse his stupidly strong arms, so he was forced to sleep in the same bed as him.

7.

The boy woke to Minato-sensei rutting against him in his sleep.

Cursing, he shifted a bit, but then the man had slipped past Kakashi's waistband and brushed his dick with his hand and he froze.

What kind of perverted dreams did his sensei have?

"K'kashi..."

Kakashi gasped and bucked his hips into his sensei's hand, covering his eyes with his arm. This was a mess. At least Kushina wasn't going to be home for another couple of days, and her (boyfriend? husband?) was fast asleep despite his actions.

They both fell back into a fitful rest after a couple minutes, Kakashi releasing into Minato-sensei's fist.

8.

Apology after apology. It was all he heard from the man after he'd awoken.

He rambled about how he was horrible, how he shouldn't have done that, how he thought he was dreaming (like that made it any better).

Minato-sensei refused to look him in the eye.

This was getting annoying, fast.

His face heated up as he yanked down his mask and kissed him (messily, teeth clacking, but his sensei, experienced and so much older, took the reins).

9.

It was unhealthy. It was illegal.

But Kakashi killed for a living, he felt older than time itself, so what did it matter?

(What did it matter if he was going to die soon on one of his ANBU missions anyway, one day?)

He peeked over his shoulder and looked back at Minato-sensei's focused face, eyes glazed with something Kakashi couldn't decipher. 

He hit a spot with his fingers and Kakashi made the most embarrassing noise he's ever made.

Sensei's smile in response made butterflies in his stomach take flight, and he ignored the twisting feeling in his gut when he saw that he no longer looked at him like he was a child.

10.

His sensei was going to have a child.

Kakashi didn't know how to feel, but behind closed doors everything was just as it always had been.

11.

His sensei was dead.

A chasm opened up beneath him and he let the void embrace his soul as his body kept moving autonomously.


End file.
